I Wanna Make Minimum Wage...

(so fucking bad).

Star Seeds

The Manimal and I went to Austin this weekend to visit Jesus for the big holiday (Passover) and despite the whole anti-leavening-agent aspect of the week, we indulged in some sweet-ass gingerbread pancakes at the Magnolia. Sacrelicious. Then, upon the recommendation of some burger-craving crazies (I have my doubts as to the extent of their sobriety), we opted the next morn to branch out from the Magnolia's unholy offerings and dine at the Stars Cafe, as it is known in the Day's Inn parking lot, or Star Seeds, as it is known inside the place. Forewarning: This cafe should offer in lieu of a requisite height sign, a la the Gravitron, a sign with a prerequisite coolness quotient ("Must be at least THIS hip to eat omelettes herein" or "Must wear at least 67% black leather at all times to enter" or, "If you've had a haircut recently, don't bother"). I walked in wearing tennis shoes and I can't express the shame I felt in blog format.
But, as long as you meet the standards, in the Star Seeds cafe, you will find what can only be described as "some large ass breakfast tacos." I guess I could describe them more...uh, descriptively than that but I'm still suffering from heartburn induced by my Sunbow breakfast plate. Jesus ordered one of the aforedescribed (albeit poorly) tacos and was rendered speechless (which, if you've ever hung out with the savior, you know is nothing short of miraculous). The Lord also appreciated the fact that there were so many vegetarian options available.
Another bonus of the Star Seeds, besides the fact that the hipness even oozed from their crackly stereo system, was the wall decor. Art pieces by what I can only imagine are the hottest young artists of the Austin-area, depicting super-IN topics such as how the Man is oppressing us and how all the latest wars are simply a byproduct of the Man's oppression and also how bikinis were invented by the Man as a way of oppressing women. It was good early-morning contemplation fodder. You know, the kind of stuff that really makes you feel oppressed before you've even had your morning 'ccino.
So, the Main Idea? Those burger-craving crazies are friggin' cool, yo. I would have never thought to look in a motel parking lot to find true breakfast salvation.

Metro Diner

I was not moved terrifically by the Metro Diner (Preston Village area, off Northwest Highway, next to the place that sells a refreshing combination of sunglasses and teddy bears), but there were a few things of note about it that I don't mind sharing on this, the World Wide Web. If you can't share it here, where nobody can hear you, then where CAN you share it, eh? Anyway, the establishment was small, one of the few unfranchised restaurants in the Preston/NW Hwy area, I believe. It was cheap (like me!) and I ordered a breakfast combo called the Woody (insert another cheap joke here...). There appeared no earthly reason for the name; it seemed like your basic Denny's Grand Slam with the added flavor of lard (I'm not arguing). Things to note: Our waitress was female, the girl at the register was female (as most girls are, regardless of the presence of a register), the cook was female, the person who appeared to do nothing save for open and close the refrigerator was female. If the owner of this establishment is a man, then let me struck down dead now because I would really like to think of this place as a little oasis of feminism; the only truly empowering place for a woman to eat her eggs overeasy and get a real shitty cup of coffee with some cream that's been sitting out all day. And there was no cheesy music playing, which would have been a nod to all the mainstream feminist bullshit that doesn't do anything except give women something lame to spend their money on. The fact that the diner was only ten feet by twenty feet (kitchen included) only made me more certain that this was more than a mediocre diner. This was...this was....aw shit, I just lost my whole dissertation. Anyway, main idea: eat at Metro Diner if you don't mind crispy bacon served with a crispier attitude. Thesis statement: Plus, they have biscuits!