An Open Letter to Mary's Banana Bread Recipe

Dear Mary's Banana Bread Recipe,

I know that you are unique and special, and I have taken the greatest of care in preparing my home and my heart for your arrival. Recipe adoption is a serious commitment, and I am taking it very seriously.

I want you to know that although I will delegate most of your care and supervision to a team of high-priced recipe nannies, I will be available by cell phone or email whenever you need someone to modify you, or just to chat, you know?

I will use you regularly for potlucks and to make my study group and competitive knitting team members like me better, and when not in use, there are lots of other unused recipes at my house to keep you company. Like tomato sauce. Who makes tomato sauce? It's available in jars at a reasonable price. But you...not you. You are not readily available, and I will never make you feel that you are.

Love,
your potential new chef,
The Professor

P.S. I have been imagining what you must be like from the photographs the agency sent over. If I had to guess, I would say that you are made up of: 2 bananas, one loaf of butter, and a dash of love. This is why I am adopting you instead of relying on my imagination, I guess.